


Revenge is the Best Revenge

by Amilyn



Category: Forever Knight
Genre: Domestic Violence, Other, Poetry, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1995-01-21
Updated: 1995-01-20
Packaged: 2017-10-04 23:22:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amilyn/pseuds/Amilyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Janette and Natalie share more of Nick's guilt and dark memories than either of them know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Revenge is the Best Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janette has a great deal of experience with soldiers.

Revenge is the Best Revenge  
by Amy L. Hull

***

Soldiers  
swarmed into town  
and away to battle--to the game--  
like hordes of locusts.  
All her life she'd seen them  
taking what they needed  
or wanted  
Destroying as it amused them  
food  
or buildings  
or people.  
Leaving only the last crumbs  
from their feast of violence and savagery  
in the villages--both friend and foe--  
that they passed through.

Soldiers  
stopped for the night  
or the week.  
She had served them  
borne their heavy equipment  
out of their way  
filled and re-filled the mugs  
they gripped in their strong, meaty fists  
allowed them to touch her  
with those filthy hands  
however they pleased.  
So long as they met her master's price.  
They bought her  
piece by piece  
one after another  
night after night.  
And she sometimes watched their distant eyes  
while they made her an instrument  
for satisfying their desires.

Soldiers  
left their marks  
on the faces  
on the bodies  
on the spirits  
of her friends.  
She felt the marks they left  
on her  
and guarded her soul, lest they  
touch more than her body.

Soldiers  
never changed though whole generations  
fought and died  
and were gathered anew.  
She watched,  
no longer hiding  
the curl of her lips  
as a century passed,  
and nothing changed.  
Still they went to war, leaving chaos  
at the door of the enemy as well as the innocent  
Still they took whatever they wished  
from anyone not as strong as they.

Soldiers  
marched again into town  
coming from the game victorious.  
She watched a golden knight at the tavern  
who, like the others,  
looked through her  
seeing only an opportunity  
to satisfy his desires.  
She saw his imminently corruptible goodness  
shining in the gleam of his  
now-smiling eyes  
and invited the young knight to follow her.  
She allowed him to touch her  
as he wished.

Then watched him pay her master's price.


	2. Favored Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The "good" child in an abusive family is often the most overlooked.

Favored Child  
by Amy L. Hull

I was once the chosen one.  
My master-father's eyes lit  
and softened  
as he gazed at me.  
Offering an open hand, he  
invited me,  
gently,  
to share what he held most dear:  
Eternity.  
An eternity of power  
and safety.  
Nights after months after years  
he spread all before me;  
They sparkled with wonder and promise  
like the precious jewels I had  
seen but never touched  
without penalty.

His eyes soon averted from me;  
a veil of indifference shielded  
the once-clear blue  
against my questioning gaze.  
Nights followed nights followed nights.

Until I risked a glimpse into  
those now-icy eyes  
and saw a glimmer of interest  
but not for me--  
for the bright knight  
of the golden hair  
the mischievous lop-sided smile  
and the eyes that alternately  
danced and forged cynical steel.  
That glimmer soon flared  
brighter than the candles  
which were our only sun  
And from the moment it kindled  
I became a pawn in their game.


	3. Caught in the Shadow

Caught in the Shadow  
by Amy L. Hull

"No mere mortal will ever touch you again  
without your consent," you said.  
But what about you?  
You will do as you will  
always and forever.  
You twisted your spell  
your offer  
around me like a spider spinning  
a web to trap  
and caught as I was in another's snare,  
it seemed acceptable to be  
somewhere else.

I traded one master for another  
and I have gotten that which  
I  
wanted as well:  
I am here  
still here  
always here  
always here.

I have seen twilight after twilight after twilight  
and that half-light as night approaches is  
beautiful,  
filled with mystery  
and shrouded shadows,  
including me.  
For I am a mystery,  
and I am a shadow  
I have lived in the shadows  
and watched from the shadows.  
I have moved as a shadow  
been thought a mere shadow.  
But there is nothing mere about me  
not the way I move or talk or think  
not who I am  
or who I was and have been  
The shadows speak in me  
through me  
and to me.

Now I sit enthroned at the center  
of this web of shadow;  
I moved on from your web long ago.  
I watch and wait  
and spin my own spells  
and web  
as you once did.  
And now  
if you want me  
you must risk becoming  
trapped  
as I was  
but am no more


	4. Human Error

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalie after "Killer Instinct" and Nick's narrow escape.

Human Error  
by Amy L. Hull

I almost killed my best friend today.  
Nick has lived 800 years,  
survived crusade, plague, fear, hunters, sunlight...  
but--almost--not me.  
For three years he has trusted me  
with his secrets  
with his life  
with his very redemption  
He has saved my life  
more times than I care to count.  
And today I nearly ended everything  
for him, for us,  
with a stupid mistake.  
Officially, it was a clerical error  
an accidental labeling mix-up  
that convicted Nick of murder and shoved him,  
courtesy of the Metro PD,  
into the deadly sunlight.  
Officially, the records have been  
reordered, corrected,  
with no harm done.  
But as I lie here tonight,  
held wide awake by the remembered fear  
I felt when I heard  
that Nick had escaped  
into the sunlight  
into death,  
I am haunted  
by the fiery image  
of what I so nearly did.  
I know that the mistake  
the negligence  
was mine  
alone.  
And that the harm that was done  
and cannot be undone  
was my fault.  
Mistakes are a part of being human  
and Nick so wants to be human  
but they are unacceptable  
when a life is at stake  
especially when the life is one I am responsible for.  
I cannot even be a role model of  
humanity, when my flaws are  
deadly, echoing Nick's own demons.  
I tried to apologize  
for so much ... more than he knows  
but it was a weak, feeble attempt.  
I am sure he can never forgive me,  
just as I know that nothing  
will ever be the same between us.  
Because I cannot forgive myself,  
and I cannot face him  
now that I've failed him  
in the only thing I have to offer.


End file.
